


Unfinished Collection

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Cheerio Kurt, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:04:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6649264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'll be dumping all of my old, unfinished works here. I don't think I'll ever get around to doing anything else with them, or I forgot what made me write them so everything is up for adoption if anyone wants to continue or finish them. Send me a link if you do so I can check it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a season 1 nerd!puck AU that I can't remember what I was going to do with

Two Weeks Ago

  
“Hey, Puck! Wait up.”

  
Noah groaned before he turned around to face his friend who was wheeling frantically down the hallway.

  
“Oh man, Artie I told you not to call me that anymore.” It had been funny when they were in middle school and thought they were hot shit, but now it’s just embarrassing to think about.

  
“Alright, alright whatever you say, dude.” Artie laughed, “Look I’m glad I caught you before band practice because I really want you to reconsider joining the New Directions.”

  
“Artie…”

  
“Just listen to what I have to say, okay? I’m going to ask the jazz band to start joining us for practices and performances, and if they say yes I figure you’ll be there anyway, right?” Noah nodded in agreement, “Well, the way I see it is we’re going to be getting all of the glory while you guys play in the background, but if you join the New Directions everyone will know who you are.”

  
“I get what you’re doing here, but maybe I like no one knowing who I am. Besides, I can’t sing or dance or any of that stuff, I’ll just bring my guitar and help out, okay?”

  
“That’s not true, I know for a fact that Rachel Berry asked you to join because she’s heard you at Temple, and I know that means you’re good because she, although completely crazy, has incredible taste in talent.” And a big mouth, Noah thought.

  
“Okay, you got me, but even if I can sing that doesn’t mean my reputation can handle something like glee club. I might as well stick my own head in the toilet now.”

  
“Okay, okay. Time to bring out the big guns, Finn Hudson joined yesterday.”

  
“What.” That made no sense at all, Finn’s way more neurotic about his reputation than Noah is, which makes sense, he has way more to lose. Captain of the football team and all.

  
“Rumor is he joined to date Rachel, but by the way she freaked him out in rehearsal I don’t believe it.”

  
Noah snorted, “Yeah, me neither.” While he and Finn hadn’t talked all week he was basically Rachel’s only friend at the reform Temple so he would definitely know if her outrageous crush on Finn was even close to turning into something more. And then she would tease back about how ridiculous his crush on Kurt was and yeah, yeah, let’s just all stop thinking about their crushes on the unattainable and how it would eventually, well…crush them.

  
“I’ll try out, okay?” he told Artie.

  
“You won’t regret it!”


	2. Cheerio!Kurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really got into writing evil Cheerio!Kurt, but I feel too bad about making him be mean to Noah to finish this. Artie knows exactly what's up and Noah might be hiding some feelings of his own....

“You’re joining the glee club.”

That’s what it all came down to.

“Why don’t you ask Tweedles Dee, Dum, and Dumber? I’m sure they’ll be happy to play spies with the groundlings.”

“And in a month they’ll be singing Kumbaya with the overgrown elf man. They’re weak, Porcelain, it has to be you.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Besides keeping your spot as head Cheerio?” _empty threat_ , Kurt just raised his eyebrow. “How about that cut of the dry cleaning budget you’re always so beautifully begging for?”

“Sounds good.” Kurt smiled icily.

The next day as he was walking to Mr. Shuester’s office Kurt noticed something, or rather three someone’s who made him stop.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it from the she-demons themselves.

Quinn was the one to speak first, her breathy voice just a hint away from mocking “We’re auditioning for glee club. Together.” She adds, in case he couldn’t guess by the way they were standing, a perfect triangle with Santana and Brittany’s pinky’s linked behind her.

 That’s why she’s not head Cheerio, Kurt reminds himself, unlike her he didn’t feel the inane need to be liked, or wanted for that matter. It’s the one thing that has kept her from becoming Sue Sylvester’s heir apparent. While she was wasting her time away with boyfriends, or other girls on the team that she won’t even remember five years from now Kurt had been the one to stay up late running through the routine until it was perfect. He had been the one to set up 360 degree view cameras around the auditorium to make sure whoever slacked off during practice was immediately identified. He had even been the one to stand up to Sue and tell her on no uncertain terms exactly what he thought of her new uniform policy, that’s when she had told him, _Porcelain, you’re ready_.

 Now though, Kurt’s not an idiot, he knows that ever since auditions she’s been grooming Becky to take his place and he can only hope that she won’t insult him by trying to make them co-captains. He had privately decided after his and Sue’s conversation that the Glee club isn’t a bad place to jump ship to, provided he was able to gentrify it in a way he saw fit. The first part of his plan it seemed was already in motion, although Finn was dumb enough to get himself wrapped into Glee on his own, Kurt knew the Cheerios would need more convincing. So he had started the rumor that Sue was looking for people to infiltrate the club for her, knowing that anyone listening with a shred of musical talent would already be banging down Shuester’s door at a chance to please the coach.

And now the fruits of his labors were standing right in front of him, in a pretty little row.

“Well by all means, ladies, don’t let me interrupt.” He told them in parting indifference. But as he walked away his smile grew.

 Oh how he wanted to look back at them, would Quinn be angry at his dismissal? Or even better, would she think that she has won? Just the thought of how disappointed they would be when they found out the truth made him want to laugh.

“Hey, Kurt! What are you so happy about?”

 _Ugh, David Karofsky_.

“I’m sorry, what asinine world do you think you woke up in this morning that makes it okay for you to address me by my first name?”

Ever since freshman year, when Kurt first decided to test out the strength the Cheerio net provided him and come out, Karofsky would not leave him alone. He promptly came out to the entire Hockey team, who cares, and decided for himself that they were meant for each other. By the dopey grin on his face and the letterman jacket on his shoulders Kurt could only imagine that he thought Kurt was smiling about him. Kurt retroactively regrets his words that implied the main reason he would not date him was because of his ‘puck head’ status. Trust him there are about four billion other reasons why he would never willingly touch him with a ten foot pole.

Davis seemed to falter a bit until he remembered why he was there, “Like the jacket? I’m a right guard now.”

“Even if I knew what that was I doubt I’d be impressed, and I’ll ask you again so your Neanderthal brain can really absorb it, what world do you think you’re in right now?” He scoffed and pushed through the door of his next class before said Neanderthal brain could produce a response.

 Calling 3rd period calculus a sanctuary would be a little bit of an overstatement, but Kurt felt just as comfortable here as he would at home waiting for the next episode of Project Runway. Once again his penchant for being a bit of a loner paid off, he was allowed to sit wherever he wanted in class, and where he wanted to sit in this one happened to be next to one Noah Puckerman. Of course if Kurt was asked he would deny knowing his name at all, but after spending all of last year copying his papers in geometry it would be quite a feat for him to not at least glance at the name on one of them.

No, Kurt knew exactly who Noah Puckerman was, and although he had probably only said about four words to him over the last year or so he was absolutely in love with him. Maybe it was the vague Rick Moranis vibe he gave off with his thick, out of fashion glasses and Jewish curls that made Kurt’s inner Audrey swoon, or maybe it was just the fact that he was safe in the way that he would never pursue him like Karofsky even if he did like Kurt back. Either way, he decided, with his good mood at an all-time high today might be the day for some lighthearted teasing to put him on the radar.

“I saw you smack Finn Hudson’s ass at the pep assembly.” _Well that’s not exactly what I had in mind._

Kurt quickly recovered in the only way he knew how, with a self-satisfied smirk plastered onto his face, waiting for a response.

Noah ignored both the look and the comment. “You’re sitting in Artie’s seat.”

“I know, I had to move a chair halfway across the room to sit here,” Kurt huffs, “I’m sure he can find someplace to wheel around to.”

Noah scowled and looked away, but the sheets of homework stayed firmly between the both of them like they always did. Kurt supposes he should be nicer to the boy he’s in love with, but that would involve the possibility that one day they would actually date and Kurt’s not ready open _that_ whole can of worms anytime soon.

When Artie finally did show up Kurt straightened up in his seat, and risked a glance at Noah out of the corner of his eye before attempting to kill Artie with his eyes. He knew he couldn’t actually force him to keep sitting there, but damn it if he wasn’t going to even try to assert his dominance what was the point of having it? Unfortunately Artie wasn’t even meeting his death glare he just looked at his friend for a second, that dumb optimist smile of his still on his face, before he wheeled himself two rows behind them where Kurt had plucked his seat from.


	3. Hogwarts AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a simple Hogwarts AU, I love putting characters in this setting for some reason. I think I originally had a chart made up of all the sortings.

“Excuse me! Kurt! Kurt Hummel!”

Oh god, it was his second day of school and Kurt knew he was about to be made fun of all ready. He steeled himself and turned around to see who is aggressor would be this time. And was immediately confused. He looked around the grand corridor again, looking for the voice until it suddenly sounded again, from much lower to the ground than he was expecting.

“You’re Kurt Hummel right? Don’t answer that I already know who you are. I’m Rachel Berry.”

The name didn’t strike Kurt as familiar and he suspected she must be a second year despite her height. Her exact way of speaking made her seem older and younger than she looked at the same time, and the way she was accessorizing her uniform wasn’t helping either.

“Right.” Kurt replied. “I really have to go to class now, so if you’ll excuse me…” He tried to walk away from her.

But she stopped him with a surprisingly strong grip on his wrist.

“I realize I didn’t exactly state my intentions as clearly as I could have. You’re Kurt Hummel, your mom was the lead singer in Spellbound, my condolences by the way, I’m a singer too though, and I’m working with Flitwick to start a Glee club here.” Kurt clearly didn’t give her the response she had hoped for so she continued, “I’d like you to join.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I thought you Ravenclaws were all about creativity and seeking out new knowledge, how can you turn your back on this opportunity?”

For the first time Kurt looked down to see which house she was in, Slytherin, of course. He yanked his hand out of her grasp and steadied his gaze with hers

“I was a hat stall, you know. I’m a lot of things.” Kurt said before turning around and walking away.

“I know, I was there. Look, just come to rehearsal this Saturday. Twelve o’clock, fourth floor storage room.” She kept talking even though he was practically at a sprinters pace trying to lose her. “You won’t regret it!” She finished.

He looked back one more time and she was still standing behind him, even though the rest of the crowd had thinned out, meaning he was late to Charms. Great.

“Your brother’s Finn Hudson right?!” She called after him.

Even greater.


	4. Hogwarts AU bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found the sorting chart! and some more excerpts.

Ravenclaw:

Kurt

Quinn

Adam

Artie

 

Slytherin:

Rachel

Sebastian

Santana

Brittany

 

Gryffindor:

Finn

Mike

Puck

 

Hufflepuff:

Sam

Blaine

Mercedes

Tina

...

“Look, Kurt, I’m just trying to help you, as a friend. That Blaine guy might be dangerous; I saw him at fight club the other night.”

“Really, Noah? And what were _you_ doing at fight club?”

“What do you mean? I’m there every Wednesday, you’ve seen my guns.”

“Yes, anyway, tell me what makes him dangerous but you perfectly safe.”

Noah looked at his feet.

“Exactly. I get what you’re doing here, okay? But you can’t keep projecting onto me like this. I know Quinn’s dating Finn and I know that it must hurt. Trust me I know exactly what unrequited love feels like, but please don’t blame me because I can’t give you what you want right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had that labeled as Hogwarts 4th year, not sure where it fits in, but I must have had a lot of ideas that I didn't write down.


	5. Season 1 AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember much about this but I think it was something along the lines of, the first time Puck hears kurt sing he falls in love with him and starts going crazy trying to get him.

“Hey!”

Kurt starts, but once he’s turned around he sees it’s just Noah. And Kurt’s not _exactly_ sure when Puck became _just Noah_ , but he figures even if the recent change of heart has worn off he’s still holding his very expensive guitar in his hand so he probably can’t do too much damage anyway.

“Get ready to have your world rocked, Hummel.”

Kurt’s mortified that he actually just said that, and more mortified that he actually just said that _in a hallway full of people_. His jaw drops, but he at least still has the amount of self-awareness needed to push the choir room door open to let them both inside.

“You are incorrigible.” Kurt says quietly.

“What?”

“It’s a good thing.”

And then Kurt’s kissing him so Puck figures it really must be.


End file.
